Curtains are closed and if someone on the street were to look in, they would see my windows softly outlined by the evening light setting on most Japanese lamps- soft, orange, and calm. And if they were to listen, they just might hear my computer keys clicking away for this post. I just got wifi in my apartment!
I’m truly terrified everyday doing this journey of mine. Away from my dearest people, chasing the dream, hoping my next failures to be better than my first!
And THANKFUL doesn’t begin the describe how I feel that I have the opportunity to do this. Support from my parents, siblings and partner. Support from my Japan fam. Support from people I’ve just met along the way.
But the truth is that I am SCARED every single day.
Scared because I’m not doing what most people are doing. Scared because I don’t have many (any) people in the same boat as me. (YET.)
(Even though I am surrounded by people who haven’t realized the art they create every day.)
So where are the people doing something crazy?!
The ones on unreasonable adventures, without a stable schedule, unconventional career paths? I’d love to feel a lil more comforted by someone other than myself that it’s gonna be okay.
And these days, despite their love and obvious concern for me, my unconventional path leads to many projections from those around me, especially the nearest and dearest- “When are you coming home?” “Did you find a job yet?” “Your partner misses you.” “You should come home.”
Thank you for the well wishes. Full stop.
I’d love to go on and on about my projects-
How it took me an entire month here, but I got back to my original project of sewing zippered pockets onto a pair of Hello Kitty cotton pajamas gifted to me one size too large and it took me an entire month of late night sewing/stitch-ripping trial and errors, while my aunt and uncle had their evening drinks and watched TV after work. And usually they sleep around midnight, but it would be me keeping them up with the sewing machine.
How that sewing machine did not have a foot pedal and took me ages to adjust to, cost me many errors, and it didn’t come with the tools I needed.. ARGH zipper foot.
How I adapted by using duct tape to lift the foot and hold it up so I could use both hands to pull the zipper close and finish my seams.
How I ran out of fabric for the pockets, went out to buy some, and miraculously remembered a square 100% cotton furoshiki I been gifted, just on my dresser stand the entire time.
And how I persevered and worked over 15hours on it even though white lights in the living room hurt my eyes so bad. I pushed through anyways without comment
and now how I would like to know if bringing my own lightbulbs everywhere could be a thing.
(Floral drying, preservation, resin projects, colour change spray paint projects not mentioned in detail here.)
It’s crappy when I DO get a chance to talk about my projects and processes, and somehow in 95% of my conversations, it turns to something along the lines of, “Oh I’m not creative” “I don’t have anything to add” “It’s so cool but I could never do that”……
BIG EXHALE.
This is the easiest way I can say it-
If you’ve cooked something, YOU”RE AN ARTIST.
If you can keep a plant alive, ARTIST.
AND IF YOU HAVE GIVEN BIRTH, ULTIMATE LIFE ARTIST, 3D HUMAN PRINTER *we bow down.
So basically I am surrounded by art
and yet also stunned that said art never acknowledges itself?
Yesterday I attended the 7:30pm show at Tokyo Comedy Club, and was invited to stay free for their 9:00pm show and did so with a friend I met at the show- she’s cool.
After the show she was getting more details on doing stand up herself so I chatted with one of the female comedians also from Canada, (couldnt find her socials but I will link it if I do.)
We’re sharing what we’re doing in Japan and she stops me after pulling up some photos of a Bonsai Museum she had visited- the one that Cam Diaz and Leo DiCaprio have been to and goes, “And that’s all I know about art.” And ends the conversation there… I ask a follow up question, followed by silence, and then thank her for sharing and I walk away lol. Tough crowd.
I’m stunned cuz it took me one show + maybe several reels on Facebook to understand that good stand-up is a CRAFT- a blend of observation, timing, tone, reading the room, storytelling, confidence, resilience, and just utter creative professionalism. She’s five years deep doing stand-up and I’m too exhausted myself to respond with my appreciation for her art.
So evidently it shouldnt be such a big surprise I guess that the people around me, not on a stage every night have not realized the art that they do themselves everyday.
What really nailed it in today was walking around WHAT Museum on Tennozu Isle today, free art gallery here with a cafe right in the middle. Art in there- 300-7000CAD a piece, I’m looking at it and sending snaps to le partner like YOU COULD TOTALLY DO THIS. I could totally do this. Cuz not only is the art displayed, the red stickers indicate art is being SOLD. Someone is paying the rent and the lights are on- and they are nice fancy lights. They even have the nice fancy TOTOs in there.
(I am out of memory upload for photos on this site until I upgrade it. But I left that gallery about to walk into the art supply store ready to start painting again.)
Anyways, WE’RE ALL ARTISTS.
Say it to yourself, out loud, right now.
How about treating life more as art?
I am well, I have been creating.
My medium is coming to me, my canvases, my sponsors that adore what I do.
Let’s trust in the abundance of this continuous project.
Thanks for being here xoxo gossip gurl
anntanya 