i hate my birthday.
and i hate that i hate my birthday.
(for reference, i only hate two other things in this world: being cold and brushing my teeth) and let’s just be clear that i dont like hating things. negativity is just not my vibe. i drink POWERade not HATERade ok.
so it’s unfortunate that i have to add this one to the list.
the depression has been bad today today and since therapy isnt until next wk, ill just have to talk myself thru it. so lets go thru why i hate my birthday..
- hate being reminded that i am still here (and not where i want to be)
- hate being told “oh u’re still yung, just be patient” when i explain where i need to be in order to want to keep on living
- hate the physical aspects of aging
- hate that i have to keep dealing with my internal pain
and obviously cuz i dont like to end things on negative notes, here are the things i will attempt to do to cope with today.
- going for selfcare time with a friend
- buying myself flowers
- not telling ppl its my bday so i dont have to deal with expectations of anything
- possibly some karaoke if im feeling it later
ok that’s all for today,
A
anntanya 
Nobody likes the physical aspects of aging. It’s unavoidable for everyone, but you can mitigate it by doing the physical things now that will help you as you age.
Although not always enjoyable, embrace and appreciate your journey regardless where you are in it. There’s wisdom and knowledge to be gained along the way. You’re upset because you are not where you want to be if life, but if you can’t appreciate where you are now, you won’t know how to appreciate where you’re going to be, and your destination will always be a moving target. I appreciate you, so I recognize the day you came into existence.. 🙂
Take care beautiful.
Many thanks for the wordz of wizdom as always. Arigatou!